


Scalene

by tomiissherlocked



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Plug, Humor, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Plot What Plot, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-14
Updated: 2012-09-14
Packaged: 2017-11-14 05:30:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomiissherlocked/pseuds/tomiissherlocked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedict shares with Tom the wonders of the scalene triangle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scalene

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.

It was a late night after a long day of celebrity appearances and signings, and Benedict and Tom were not only a bit tipsy, but after a series of wildly inappropriate texts from Benedict, they were eager to finally get to their hotel room, more specifically, their bed. Tom slightly stumbled as he followed Benedict to the elevator, and laughed as they finally found their way inside. Benedict pressed the button labeled “8” and grinned evilly as the doors closed.

He pounced on Tom, who was delighted to have Benedict’s lips on his once again. “I can’t wait to rip all your clothes off,” Benedict slurred, leaving sloppy kisses on Tom’s face and neck. Tom moaned, and could feel the pressure of Benedict’s cock against his thigh. “Won’t you let me fuck you, Mr. Hiddleston?”

He gasped as the ding of the elevator sounded, and at the speed of sound, the two separated as a man and woman went inside. Tom wondered if they had the same idea as them, but his thoughts were interrupted as Benedict grabbed him by the wrist and rushed to their room. He clumsily slid the key card into the slot and dragged Tom through the door. The two of them kissed passionately as their clothes made their way to the ground, one article at a time. Before too long, the two of them were naked as the day they came into the word, their erections standing tall and their lips swollen from the biting and sucking.

Benedict shoved Tom onto the bed, his cock pointing upward and his legs spread apart. Benedict bared his teeth with a crooked smile, and slid a finger up Tom’s engorged member. “Fuck,” he hissed, and Benedict chuckled.

“Hold on, I want to try something,” he said with a grin. He scurried to his suitcase and emerged with a pair of handcuffs and a large black plastic object, shaped like a very steep pyramid of some sort, with a very sharp tip and wide base. He shuffled back to the bed and cuffed Tom to the bedpost and went back to retrieve the plug.

“Wh-what is that?” Tom asked. “Is… is that a plug?”

“Not just any plug,” Benedict replied. “It’s a triangle-shaped plug. Scalene triangle, to be exact,” he said, enamored. “Ah, the scalene triangle.” Benedict looked on at the plug with awe, and Tom shuddered at the idea of such a thing going inside of him, and began to struggle against his bonds.

“Wait, are you putting that inside of me? Hold on a second! AREN’T YOU GONNA USE LUBRICANT?”

Benedict cackled giddly. “Of course I am,” he returned. He turned around and grabbed a butterknife and tin of jam from his back and placed them next to the massive plug.

“No, Ben,” Tom pleaded. “KY jelly is fine, but strawberry jelly is not what I had in mind!!”

“Raspberry, as a matter of fact,” Benedict corrected. “You’ll be fine,” he said, as he opened the jar and used the knife to scoop a generous amount. “Do you think this is enough, or will you need more?”

“GIVE ME SOME REAL LUBRICANT, YOU ARSEHOLE,” Tom yelled. His anger went unnoticed as Benedict applied a copious amount of the preserves to Tom’s asshole, and slipped two fingers inside of him. Tom buried his face into his arms as Benedict went further inside of him, and shuddered when more jelly was added. “It’s so cold,” he whined.

“Shh,” Benedict answered, and grabbed the large object and placed it to Tom’s anus. “Ready?”

“Not exactly-AHH,” Tom moaned as the plug began to invade him. “Oh my GOD,” he groaned. Benedict slowly but surely probed Tom more and more and Tom squirmed in pain. “Jesus,” he hissed between gritted teeth. Before long, the feeling of pain was replaced with one of pleasure, and he moaned loudly as the plug went deeper and deeper. “Agh, fuck me, scalene triangle!” he cried, and soon he was bathing in ecstasy with the power of his orgasm. He released his seed all over himself and Benedict, collapsed onto the soft mattress.

The next week, Tom and Benedict found themselves at a restaurant when the two of them heard CNN on the television. Benedict looked at Tom, trying to stifle a laugh, while Tom watched intently as Anderson Cooper reported the news.

“In other news, a scandalous video of British actors Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston has emerged and gained massive notoriety as its views on the internet grow by the day. We obviously can’t show any of the video, but here is a sound clip. ‘Ah, the scalene triangle…’”

Tom looked up in horror as he heard his friend’s voice on television become drowned out by the hysterical laughter of everyone in the restaurant, including Benedict’s. “BEN! What the hell is wrong with you??”

“Shh,” Benedict said with a finger over his mouth. “It gets better.”

“’Ah… [bleep] me, scalene triangle…’ As you can tell, the video has garnered millions of fans for its sheer vulgarity.”

Tom’s face went pale as he stood to his feet. “I’m so fucking DONE,” he exclaimed. He left the restaurant, never to be seen again with Benedict. It was for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still really sorry.


End file.
